All she wants for Christmas is to see her boys...

LTC restrictions mean isolated holidays for many residents once again.

UPDATE: A petition has been started to get this LTC to amend the rules.

Jennifer isn’t asking to tuck her boys to bed on Christmas eve and fill the tree with presents, like we will all get to do this year. She doesn’t wish to fill her room with dozens of siblings, cousins, uncles and aunts and dance the night away like many will enjoy. All she wants for Christmas is the certainty that her boys will be able to visit her on Christmas morning, for the first time in three years.

In January, I shared the heartbreaking story of Jennifer Desroches. A 37-year old mother of two, who has Huntington’s disease. Jennifer has been at Au Chateau Long Term Care Home in Sturgeon Falls since 2020, and has seen her and her family’s life, routines and relationships completely turned upside down.

Throughout 2020 and most of 2021, Au Chateau kept restricting visitation. She would go weeks without any visitation privileges and then when some were allowed in, visitations were limited to just essential caregivers, which kept excluding her two sons.

When the vaccine rolled out, Jennifer was subjected to the complete exclusions of her entire family from entering her home. Most in Jennifer’s family made the difficult choice to forgo the mRNA shots for various reasons. For this, they were denied visitations for 14 months, until the board of directors agreed to finally change the rules after a series of protests in January.

For 14 months, no one in Jennifer’s family could stop in to check on her. No one could come help her eat her meals. Even attempting to bring her out was often severely limited by the administration because Jennifer herself had made the conscious decision to remain mRNA-free. Her boys would get to see their mother occasionally, but not like you or I would ever imagine seeing our mother.

Tyran and Brayden could only see their mom outside in the parking lot when the home allowed them to.

Brayden & Tyran visiting their mother outside for Christmas 2022.

Her sister and primary caregiver, Jamie-Lee explained to me in January. “Jennifer is dying. She is well aware of that. She knows she only has so many after-school chats left with Tyran. She knows she only has so many play dates left with Brayden…”

The lifting of restrictions in February came as a relief for the Desroches family. Jamie-Lee could finally visit her sister every day. She could have helpful friends stop in to keep Jennifer company. The boys could finally see their mother whenever they wanted. This long-term care home enjoyed a mostly normal summer. Masks became optional. Jennifer started feeling much better about her unfortunate life situation.

But then the inevitable cold and flu season started, and as opposed to pre-COVID, our health establishment has seemingly given up on the benefits of relationships and companionship. The only thing that matters is respiratory virus control.

Back to Isolation

First, Au Chateau reinstituted masks for all visitors. Meaning she would no longer be able to see her sons’ smile. Likely not until their next birthday. Her unfortunate disease leaves this prospect in doubt every year.

Then, as various viruses sprung up, Jennifer’s life has been turned upside down once again.

Last week, a close contact to Jennifer was diagnosed with a viral infection. Because of this apparent crime, Jennifer was officially put under isolation orders for the indefinite future.

The newest procedures for residents like Jennifer are that she “has to remain in isolation and cannot participate in group activities.”

The LTC home also advises all family members that during any outbreaks, only the designated caregivers are allowed in. This means that once again, Tyran and Brayden may be prevented from visiting their mom. The friends and family that would help Jamie-Lee check in on Jennifer daily are no longer allowed to.

Judging by prior seasons, this home risks being in one outbreak or another for the entire winter.

Jennifer is effectively confined to her room with no visitations and faces the daunting reality that she may live the rest of her life this way. And she doesn’t even have COVID or any infectious disease herself. Nor has she shown any symptoms.

She has once again lost her right to do the only things her body lets her do. Be a mother…

The Tragic Reality of What We Consider Normal

Jennifer’s story is tragic. There is no other way to describe it. She is 37 years old and all she wants for Christmas is to be with her family. She wants them to be able to visit without feeling like they are walking into a wartime hospital.

Some of the other instructions that were sent to caregivers this week include.

“Well residents must wear a surgical mask when crossing the hall and when using the elevators.”

“It is important not to stop and socialize with residents in order to minimize risk of infection.”

This isn’t normal. It shouldn’t be accepted as normal…

Many residents in this home welcome such rules, but it is because they have been kept in perpetual fear for nearly three years. We have never advised seniors to avoid socializing in the hallways. We have never forbidden healthy residents from participating in group activities. What the hell is going on?

Jennifer isn’t asking to tuck her boys to bed on Christmas eve and fill the tree with presents, like we will all get to do this year. She doesn’t wish to fill her room with dozens of siblings, cousins, uncles and aunts and dance the night away like many will enjoy.

All she wants for Christmas is the right to have Tyran and Brayden stop in after school any time they want. She wants to be able to see their smiles. All she wants for Christmas is the certainty that her boys will be able to visit her on Christmas morning (inside her room and not in a parking lot) for the first time in three years.

Is that too much to ask?

Rejean Venne is a regular newsletter providing insight and analysis on Canadian issues. Please consider becoming a subscriber.